118. Heath & Vic
25 April 2020
Heath and Vic.
Heath called me mid-day today.
he wouldn't usually call - he's only called me like twice in our lifetime Lol
usually when or if he calls, it's something he has to say.
(rant to petey) well. cancer has again taken away someone else i admired. and this corvid thing makes it difficult to visit Heath & the family. but i'm glad that Heath has included me in the list for the wake, even tho he's Andrew's best friend and that i'm divorced from Andrew (Singapore Corvid CB - max 10 per visitors during a wake and we have to sit apart). i'm not that close to Vic (the person who passed) or Heath and his family but i'm very sad, i keep crying thinking of all she's gone through during cancer treatment last 2 years. she was a very special lady - i was glad she agreed to be jannah's godma and a witness at my wedding.
just saying. i guess this is the best time to rant isn't it?
27 April 2020
last night, went to the wake. Vic was so thin, her makeup made her look strange. so so sad.
on her coffin, there's a card that says, Vic, 60. i didn't realize she was 9 years older. she seems like an older sister but not that much older...
before heath left to drive kayleigh back to LOA (leave of absence) 14 day quarantine at panpac, he kissed the coffin above her face. heartbreaking. tomorrow is the funeral. it will be very tough for the family. heath said she was in a coma and she teared when they spoke to her. due to corvid, they hardly had much last moments with her. they reached her bedside 5 minutes after she passed. omg.
i'm so sad. vic, i'll miss you...
28 April 2020
today’s the funeral and i’m surprised i wanted to go, but i can’t. only 10 people allowed. it’s so heartbreaking to hear that she died alone. due to corvid, family members can’t stay by her side all day or night. she was also in a coma but she teared when her family spoke to her. how sad! i’m not even sure why i’m so affected, i’m really not close to her. we did go on a road trip in perth tho. she’s amazing and her husband is so crushed.
it was hard seeing her at the wake. lost so much weight. cancer is so cruel and heartless.
caught up with my ex’s friends & their wives ... not seen them for at least 10 years. i rem a few of them telling me not to marry him, his best friend too LOL but looking back, i think my life is not less or worse because of the bad marriage & getting ill. i might have been pampered more if i had married someone else but i may not have found myself if i did. it’s a big deal to be myself & find the right meaning in life. life is so fragile & too precious. i realize those with a cushy life see everything differently.
rant rant rant. hope i didnt wake u😬
29 April 2020
am i at that stage where i'll be attending more funerals than birthday parties? what was i even doing at your age? (Petey is 41 this year) hmmm... i felt defeated at 40 and probably spent the last freaking 10 years getting over my failed marriage and health status, pitying myself. how shallow. i was pathetic. when i saw how much my ex's best friend is grieving over his wife last few days and how the 2 of them were battling cancer together at the same time for the past 2-3 years (both husband and wife has cancer) - how is my bad experiences in the last 10-15 years even that bad that i can rant for years? geez. now that i'm 51, i'm still living day to day, in a daze most of the time. it's time to live well. omg i can't believe i'm 51. what happened to 20's, 30's, 40's? everything's a blur. is it good that i'm content that i don't crave for anything or need anything? i don't even want to play kaw any more LOL ... i'm that clueless. i wish i had spoken to her before she passed. should have. i just didn't take the time to even send her a text after i met her during her chemo last year. omg i can write a book on what i'm overthinking about!
anyways, i'm seeing my doc at cdc next week. gonna be a bit messy there, corvid cases in thousands recently.
Heath called me mid-day today.
he wouldn't usually call - he's only called me like twice in our lifetime Lol
usually when or if he calls, it's something he has to say.
 |
| jannah's hand-drawn and painted card (watercolors) handwriting is mine of course |
just saying. i guess this is the best time to rant isn't it?
Our Road Trip in Perth
- Perth - Albany - Denmark - Pemberton -
- Dunsburough - Busselton - Margaret River. Perth
hi Heath, thanks for letting us know about Vic. very sorry for your loss. aidan, christen, jannah and i have no words to express how sad we feel.
uh, on another note, i guess this comes at a strange time, but we’ve 2 drawings for you. you & your family are in our thoughts and prayers. take care, see u tmr. ❤️
27 April 2020
last night, went to the wake. Vic was so thin, her makeup made her look strange. so so sad.
on her coffin, there's a card that says, Vic, 60. i didn't realize she was 9 years older. she seems like an older sister but not that much older...
before heath left to drive kayleigh back to LOA (leave of absence) 14 day quarantine at panpac, he kissed the coffin above her face. heartbreaking. tomorrow is the funeral. it will be very tough for the family. heath said she was in a coma and she teared when they spoke to her. due to corvid, they hardly had much last moments with her. they reached her bedside 5 minutes after she passed. omg.
i'm so sad. vic, i'll miss you...
28 April 2020
today’s the funeral and i’m surprised i wanted to go, but i can’t. only 10 people allowed. it’s so heartbreaking to hear that she died alone. due to corvid, family members can’t stay by her side all day or night. she was also in a coma but she teared when her family spoke to her. how sad! i’m not even sure why i’m so affected, i’m really not close to her. we did go on a road trip in perth tho. she’s amazing and her husband is so crushed.
it was hard seeing her at the wake. lost so much weight. cancer is so cruel and heartless.
caught up with my ex’s friends & their wives ... not seen them for at least 10 years. i rem a few of them telling me not to marry him, his best friend too LOL but looking back, i think my life is not less or worse because of the bad marriage & getting ill. i might have been pampered more if i had married someone else but i may not have found myself if i did. it’s a big deal to be myself & find the right meaning in life. life is so fragile & too precious. i realize those with a cushy life see everything differently.
rant rant rant. hope i didnt wake u😬
29 April 2020
am i at that stage where i'll be attending more funerals than birthday parties? what was i even doing at your age? (Petey is 41 this year) hmmm... i felt defeated at 40 and probably spent the last freaking 10 years getting over my failed marriage and health status, pitying myself. how shallow. i was pathetic. when i saw how much my ex's best friend is grieving over his wife last few days and how the 2 of them were battling cancer together at the same time for the past 2-3 years (both husband and wife has cancer) - how is my bad experiences in the last 10-15 years even that bad that i can rant for years? geez. now that i'm 51, i'm still living day to day, in a daze most of the time. it's time to live well. omg i can't believe i'm 51. what happened to 20's, 30's, 40's? everything's a blur. is it good that i'm content that i don't crave for anything or need anything? i don't even want to play kaw any more LOL ... i'm that clueless. i wish i had spoken to her before she passed. should have. i just didn't take the time to even send her a text after i met her during her chemo last year. omg i can write a book on what i'm overthinking about!
anyways, i'm seeing my doc at cdc next week. gonna be a bit messy there, corvid cases in thousands recently.
Comments
Post a Comment