2. Remember, or Not

messy is me

what does "awake" mean?

Remember, or Not ... ?

i am beginning to remember things and forget other things.

i remember that i'm on a break from work. but i forget what day and date is today.

i remember how the children were like when they were babies. but i forget how much older they are now, and that they don't need me to tell them some things, like before.

i remember when my birthday is. but i don't remember that i'm now nearing 50 years old... i always feel like i'm 20+ and still finding my way in the world.

i am awake. but i don't seem to grasp the time passing on by. by the time i am aware of my day, it has turned dark outside and it is almost time for me to fall asleep.

what i had when deciding to go for a night swim around 2011

is this a sign of old age or me losing it?

why am i unaware of me in this world?
where am i?
when am i?
why am i?
what am i doing here?

haha! i only know who i am :)

i have a very active, imaginative, busy, artistic, creative, humorous, inquisitive mind.
i know i can figure things out...

yet, i am unable to be.
unable to move,
unable to be aware of being alive,
unable to remember some things,
unable to forget some things.

maybe i'm in limbo.

tbh, i like it.

no, i LOVE it.

that sense of me while nothing else matters or exists.

it's like i am here but i am not - because i don't need being here.

it's nice to remember when i was part of this world.
and it's nice to forget about this world at the same time.

is that being "spirited" ?

free spirited?

am i free?

hmmmm. i feel free.

FREEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

!!!